The Loud House: Bloated Rocker
It was dinnertime at the Loud House. However, the usual chef, the man of the house, Lynn Sr., was working a double shift over at the Aloha Komrade, so he got one of his kids to cook for them tonight. And the chef was Lynn Jr. "Aloha, everyone! I hope you're already for a mouth-watering yummy dish tonight!" said Lynn Jr. "If I had to guess, she made a sport shake," Leni whispered to Lucy. "Or something that looks like a pile of puke," Lucy added. Lynn Jr. put the tray on the table and revealed the dish. "Ta-da! It's Sambhar, an Indian stew!" said Lynn Jr. "Ooh! Indian!" said Lana. "I never had this before," said Lori. "Looks a little goopy," said Lola. "Lola!" said Rita. "Well, Leni, let's see how you did with it," said Lincoln. They all took a bowl of the Sambhar and began to eat. "This stew is delicious!" said Lisa. Duddette, this is the best you ever made!" said Luna. "Such an aroma and a broth," said Leni. "I don't know what kind of joke to make out of this," said Luan. "Say, Lynn, what is in this?" Rita asked. "It looks a little...leafy." "Oh, that's coriander," said Lynn. "Coriander?" Rita asked. Luna started to feel a little tingly inside her. All of a sudden, she bloated up like a giant ball. "Oops," said Lynn Jr. Dinner was postponed for this problem. "What happened to me?" Luna asked. "I was afraid of this," said Rita. "According to your medical record, you're allergic to coriander." "And you didn't tell her this why?" Lincoln asked. "Well, we never made a dish that required coriander before," said Rita. "We found out it makes Luna swell up." "So, you're saying I might look like a sumo-sized beach ball forever?" Luna asked. "If forever, you mean for the next 4 hours, then yes," said Rita. "Not cool, mom!" said Lori. "Now we gotta cure her and fast!" said Lincoln. And so, Luna's siblings started to look for a way to cure her. First up was Luan. "You know what they say, laughter is the best medicine," said Luan. "Why do I feel like I'm gonna regret this?" Luna wondered. Luan took her mic stand and started making it act like a metal detector. Then she started making beeping sounds toward Lincoln. "What was that for?" Lincoln asked. "The steel plate in your head," Luan answered. Luna did not laugh at that. "And now, Elmer Fudd doing Shakespeare!" said Luan. She put on an Elmer Fudd hunter hat and said, "Hewwo. I'm Hamwet the Pwince of Denmawk!" Then she laughed and grabbed one of Lucy's prop skulls and said, "Awas, poow Yowick, I knew him well. We used to go bowwing on Thuwsdays. He was a weal thing." It didn't work. "I gave her my best stuff and not a chuckle," said Luan. Next was Lola. "A little bit of my cold cream and a little massage, and you'll be back to your normal self in no time," said Lola. She got some cold cream on her third biggest sister in more ways than one and started massaging Luna with her shoes. It didn't seem to really go anywhere. "Feel any better?" Lola asked. "No," said Luna. Just then, Luna grew a little bit more. "Uh-oh," said Lincoln. "This is bad. She's bloating some more," said Rita. "Really, dudes? I didn't notice," Luna sarcastically responded. Lori was getting an ice pack to help out. "Nothing says going down like a nice ice pack," said Lori. She put it on, but nothing. "Hmm...maybe it needs more chill," she said. Then she got a ton more and got the ice pack to cover Luna's entire person. But then, Luna just expanded some more. This caused Lori and the ice pack to be knocked right out the door. Lori was feeling a sudden chill. "Hoo! it's literally cold outside," she shivered. Lynn was pureeing a bunch of stuff together. Luna didn't like how it looked with its texture and color. "What is that junk?" Luna asked. "Protein shakes. It's how I maintain this bod," said Lynn. She shoved it down Luna's throat, but Luna refused to swallow because it tasted so nasty. "You just don't appreciate good taste," said Lynn. "Okay, plan B. I start punching for the spot that the coriander is in and you cough it up." Lynn started punching everywhere and it made Luna jiggle a bit and then expand some more. "This just keeps going throughout the night, doesn't it?" Lynn groaned. Lucy had her crystal ball ready. "I shall now summon the spirits to extract the renegade spice from your inner sanctum," said Lucy. "This is never gonna work, man" said Luna. "Shh. Do not question the spirits," said Lucy. Luna suddenly felt a chill inside of her, and it seemed like her eyes were starting to swirl with ectoplasmic energy. But the coriander could not be extracted. "It's started to reach the digestive phase. It's too late. It refuses to touch it," said Lucy. The so-called spirit has left. "I feel violated, dude," Luna gagged. Lily tried some ideas herself like giving Luna a pacifier and a bottle and a blanky of her own. "You just wanna share with me, don't you?" Lori asked. Lily shrugged, not really knowing how to fix this. Lana got her snake El Diablo to circle around Luna and try to squeeze her as hard as he could. "Come on, El Diablo! Really put the squeeze on her! Get that stuff out of her even if it is half-digested! I could use it," said Lana. El Diablo really squeezed with all his might until he sprained his tail, causing him to slither off. "I don't know which I'm more in pain from: the allergy, or the squeezing," Luna gagged. Leni tried using steam to extract the coriander. "A little dip in this sauna will have that bad spice I accidentally fed you out of you in no time, Luna," said Leni. "I sure hope so, dude," said Luna. Just then, her phone started to ring in her skirt pocket, but she was so bloated, she couldn't reach it. Then she bloated to the point where her clothes were stretching out and her bellybutton was jutting out. "Oh, I wanted to get my bellybutton pierced, not exposed," said Luna. Her phone went to voicemail, and it was Chunk talking about if they were still on for a concert on Tuesday. Lincoln was trying to get that coriander out himself. He was trying some other health tactics. "I don't know the first thing about this kind of allergic reaction, but if some of these techniques can work for certain matters, surely they can work for bloating," said Lincoln. He tried the Heimlich maneuver to get it out, but it didn't seem to extract the coriander. Then he tried CPR, but pushing on the certain area or blowing on Luna wouldn't help. He tried using some medicine to get it out faster, but it didn't work. This just got Luna even bigger to the point where they were both squished in the linen closet. Luna burst out and rolled down the stairs. "Uh, guys?" Lincoln asked. Lily was right at the base of the stairs, but Lynn got her out of the way just in time. Lori went rolling and bouncing out the door. "Oh, that's not good," said Lola. "Now she's having a ball!" said Luan. She laughed and realized that was bad timing. "Too soon?" "We only got an hour until...well, you don't wanna know," said Rita. "Luckily, I always carry a handy antihistamine at hand," said Lisa. "Why didn't you tell us that until now?" Lynn asked. "What, and ruin the plot?" Lisa asked, breaking the fourth wall. Just then, Rita got a call. "Hello?" Rita asked. "Hey, honey, it's me!" said Lynn Sr. on the other end. "My double shift's over, so I'm on my way home right now. See you in 10 minutes." "Bye, honey," said Rita as she hung up. "Your dad's gonna be home in 10 minutes." "We gotta get Lori back here!" said Lincoln. With that, they ran out of the house after the bloated third eldest daughter. Luna was rolling and bouncing all over Royal Woods with no way to control herself. Sam Sharp was walking down the street when she didn't notice it, but she got squished by the bloated form her crush had taken. "I don't what just squished me...but I liked it!" she exclaimed with joy. Luna then bounced right off the roof of Gus's Games & Grub. A sign reading "TILT!" appeared. It was a classic pinball joke. Then she rolled around the mall, getting wedged in an escalator and in a cheese kiosk. Soon, she popped out of the mall and bounced right into a billboard advertising Burpin' Burger. She was feeling dizzy after that. "Ugh, dudes. I' gonna be sick," she gagged. "Well, looks like she's just fine," said Lola. "But she's turning green," said Lucy. "Lucky," said Lana. "It's okay, Luna. We gotcha," said Leni. They got her down from the billboard and back onto the street. "Okay, kids, start rolling," said Rita. They had a long way to go before they got her home. They managed to get her back with 30 seconds to spare. Luna was at the breaking point. "Lisa! Give it to her!" said Lincoln. "GERONIMO!" Lisa shouted. She stuck the epipen right into a and it caused her to slowly revert back to normal, right as their father drove up. "Hey, kids. Hi, honey. Did you miss me?" he asked them. "We sure did," said the kids. "You know, we didn't really finish dinner," said Rita. "Sorry, but I couldn't bring home any leftovers tonight. How about I make something for us?" Lynn Sr. asked. "Or I could try something else again," said Lynn Jr. "Maybe it's best we let dad do it," said Luna. She did not want to bloat again. "Oh, come on. I promise not to put any coriander in it," said Lynn Jr. Luna sighed and said, "Okay, dude, one more try." "Yay!" Lynn Jr. cheered. And so, Lynn Jr. made some chili. "Here you all go. Five alarm chili," she said. "Nothing's too spicy for me," said Leni. They all took a taste, and Lynn started to feel herself bloat like Luna. "Guys, Who let the air in me?" said Lynn Jr. "You mean you're bloated?" Lucy asked. "Oh, what did you put in this, dear?" Rita asked. "I found a little something called cum-men and thought it was a cute sounding ingredient," said Lynn Jr. "Cum-men? You mean Cumin?" Luna asked. "Is that what it's called?" Lynn Jr. asked. "Now we know Lynn's allergic to Cumin," said Lincoln. "Maybe you should try cooking next time Dad has a double shift, mom," said Lori. "And I think after we treat Lynn Jr, we should all have a thorough examination on those medical records for allergies so as not to cause a third one of these," Lisa suggested. "Agreed," said everyone else. Lynn Jr. was really bloated. "Will somebody get my legs? I can't move," she requested. Of course, she didn't know it would only make it worse. And it just went to show, they were going to need to be more careful about what they ate from then on. THE END